I Fall Into You
by marky77
Summary: Cody is being bullied at school and is too scared to tell anyone. Will he tell Zack? Will his brother be able to protect him if he does find out? And will the discovery of a special kind of love help him through it? Twincest. Rated M for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

**a/n Starts off as an angst/hurt/comfort story...will keep that theme but there will be eventual twincest (of both the romantic and sexy natures), so if you don't like that don't read :).**

**This story is rated M for a reason!...there will be some violence (mostly near the start) , plus bad language and gay twincest throughout.**

**I am honestly not sure where I want to go with this story after the first few chapters, but please review and tell me if I should continue :).  
**

1

Zack Martin rolled over and swatted at his alarm clock as it began to blare, flashing 7:00am.  
Not bothering to open his eyes he smacked out at the table by his bed, knocking a half-eaten slice of pepperoni pizza from last night onto the floor.  
Groaning, he opened his eyes, squinted at the alarm clock and hit the "snooze" button before lying back in bed with his eyes open.  
_Man, I hate school days_, he thought, staring at the ceiling and wishing he could stay in bed for another couple of hours.

Looking over, he saw his twin lying in bed across the room, fast asleep.  
_Weird_, he thought. Cody usually got up at least an hour before him to prepare for school and double-check his homework.  
_Maybe he's sick?_  
"Hey, Cody!" he shouted and threw his pillow at his brother.  
Cody twitched and mumbled something inaudible in his sleep, but didn't open his eyes.

"Don't make me get out of bed!" he groaned. "You _know_ I don't like to get up until ten minutes before the school bus gets here; just enough time for chocolate chip pancakes."

Rolling his eyes, he threw the covers back off his body, revealing his red PJ's (identical in all but colour to his brothers blue ones) and climbed out of the bed, making his way over to his twin.  
He had to step carefully over his own half of the room as there were video games, dirty clothes, and half-eaten snacks scattered all over the floor. Cody's half of the room was, of course, compulsively neat and tidy.

He stood by Cody's bed and leaned over, shaking him gently.  
"Hey Cody...you OK?" he asked.  
"Mmm...fine, Zack"  
"Time to get up for school, okay? Moms gonna be pissed if we don't get dressed soon." he told him, feeling weird as he said it. It was like their roles had temporarily reversed.

Cody sat up in bed, and Zack brushed his hair out of his face, placing the palm of his hand on his brothers forehead.  
"You're not sick, are you?"  
"No...I'm okay, Zack."

Zack looked at his brother, knowing something was wrong...but also knowing that Cody obviously didn't want to tell him.  
"Well, okay then." He replied. "I'm gonna go take a shower now."

He walked off to their bathroom, half expecting Cody to make a joke about his usual poor hygiene; but heard nothing.  
Looking back he saw Cody sitting up in bed, looking down into his lap, a forlorn look on his face.  
He suddenly felt like crying and wished he could hug him and tell him it was okay, but he didn't want Cody to get weirded out by the out-of-character sensitivity.  
Zack liked to pretend not to, but deep down he really did care about his brother.

Taking his pyjamas off, he turned the shower on, waiting a few seconds for the water to heat up, before stepping under the spray, relaxing as the hot water soaked into his muscles.

He began to lather shampoo into his hair and as steam began to fill the small bathroom, his thoughts once again turned to his brother.  
Cody had not been himself for a few weeks now. He seemed a lot more withdrawn than usual and seemed to have even lost interest in school and homework.  
He wished he could help but what could he do when Cody wouldn't talk to him?

2

Cody sat in his bed, thinking, while Zack went into the boy' bathroom for his shower.

_I really want to tell Zack about it...but how can I? It's embarrassing and I don't know what to say._  
He worried Zack would just think he was a wimp.  
He thought about going to school that day and felt sick.  
_Maybe I _should_ just say I'm ill, _he thought, but knew that he could not do it. He had never been able to lie well to anyone. Plus, he knew Zack could tell from a mile off if he was being even slightly dishonest.  
He really did want to tell Zack – he was the one person that Cody always felt comfortable talking to. And he knew he could tell him anything.  
He just wasn't sure he wanted to tell him this.

_I should get up, get dressed_, he thought. _Or I really am going to be late for school._  
School.  
His stomach tied into a knot and he felt nauseous.  
Maybe today would be okay.  
It's doesn't happen _every_ day, anyway...just...almost every day.

The door to the adjoining bathroom swung open and out walked Zack - followed by a cloud of steam from the hot shower - wearing Cody's bathrobe. Most likely his own was dirty or he just couldn't be bothered to look for it and grabbed the first one he saw.

He saw his brother looking at him and said: "Oh, hey, you don't mind me borrowing this, do you, Codes?"

Blushing – _Why does it always make me blush when he calls me that?_ – he shook his head, no.

"Zack..." he started  
"Mm?" Zack replied, not really paying attention as he looked around the room for a clean (or at least clean to _his _standards) shirt and some jeans.  
_Tell him!_  
"I..."  
_Just tell him! Spit it out!  
_"I..."  
_Stop it, you sound like an idiot!  
Okay, just tell him...  
_"You _what_, Cody?" his brother asked, turning around to face him, semi-clean jeans in hand.  
"I...hope you studied for the math test today" he finished lamely, mentally kicking himself for wussing out at the last minute.

3

"Zack...I...I..." Cody mumbled to him from across the room as he pulled apart bits of mess on the bedroom floor, looking for the jeans he had worn the day before.  
He turned around, impatiently.  
"You _what, _Cody?"  
He saw his brothers face twitch a little with tension, and then relax and he muttered: "...Hope you studied for the math test today".  
"Helloo, that's what the five minute breaks in between classes are for!" he said, rolling his eyes at his brothers' nerdiness.

Pulling on the jeans, he walked over to his brothers bed and sat down next to him.  
"Is that all that's been bothering you?" he asked. "That stupid test?".  
Cody looked down at his hands, and didn't answer.  
"You know you can tell me anything, right?" he told him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Cody raised his head and looked at him and Zack saw that his brother had tears in his eyes.  
"What is it, Codes?" He asked, now genuinely concerned. He saw Cody's cheeks turn slightly pink and tried to ignore how cute it was.  
He squeezed his smoulder gently, and saw the corner of his mouth turn up in a small smile.  
"I want to help you."  
"I'll be okay, Zack" he said, blinking away the tears before they fell from his eyes. "Really, I'll be fine".  
"But you know that I'll do whatever I can to help...and I would never judge you, no matter what."  
Cody smiled.  
Zack smiled in return.  
"That's much better." He said.  
"Come on". He ruffled Cody's hair with one hand and gently pulled him out of bed. "You don't wanna be late for your precious test" he said, sticking his tongue out playfully.

4

Cody stuck his tongue out at Zack, feeling a little better.  
_He always makes me feel better_, he thought, smiling as he watched his brother walk into the main part of the suite to say good morning to their mom and eat breakfast.

Alone in the room, he dressed quickly, inwardly cringing that there was no time for a shower that morning .  
_As soon as I get home from school,_ he promised himself.

He dressed slowly enough so that he would miss breakfast – he couldn't eat before school, he was too nervous – and walked through to the living room just as Zack was getting up from the breakfast table to leave.  
He looked at the clock above the counter in the kitchen and saw that the bus left in 5 minutes.  
Surprised that it was so late, he hurried over to the door, shouting a quick good morning and goodbye at Carrie before following Zack out of the suite, shutting the door behind him.

As he made his way up the hallway towards the elevator, he felt Zack place a hand on his back and stopped walking, glancing over his shoulder at his brother questioningly.  
"You sure you don't want to talk before we go?" he asked.  
He nodded and was surprised to feel Zack wrap him in a hug from behind.  
"You know I love you, right, Cody?" he said softly into Cody's ear, his head resting on the smallers boy's shoulder.  
"Of-of course I do, Zack." He said. "I love you, too".

Then, as though the unusually affectionate act had never occurred, Zack trotted past him and yelled "Hurry up then!", smiling.

As they rode down to the lobby together in the elevator, Cody felt the old anxiety return again and wondered how he could tell his brother that he was being bullied.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

1

Cody Martin crossed his legs under his desk and cringed.  
It was 11:10am and he was desperate for the bathroom, but didn't want to ask for the pass.  
_What if I miss something that's going to be on mid-terms?_ He thought.  
He tried to concentrate on what the teacher was saying, but the pressure in his bladder was becoming too much and he raised his hand, knowing he couldn't make it until the end of class for lunch.

"Yes, Cody, what is it?" asked the teacher  
"Um...I have to go to the bathroom," he mumbled, embarrassed, and felt his cheeks go a little red as students turned in their seats to look at him.

The teacher hesitated for a second. She normally didn't allow kids to leave the classroom...but she knew Cody well enough to know he wouldn't ask to go unless he absolutely had to.  
Sighing, she handed him the bathroom pass.  
"Ok, here you go. But be _quick_," she told him.

Nodding, Cody stood up, took the pass off her, and quickly walked out of the classroom, still blushing slightly.

He walked up the hallway, clutching the pass in one hand, looking nervously up and down the corridors as he walked, silently preying that he wouldn't bump into anyone.  
Not _everyone_ picked on him, of course, but the group of boys that did was quite big, and they often skipped class and hung around the halls and bathrooms.

_Please don't let them be there_, he thought.  
_Man, I can't even go to the bathroom around here without being scared._  
He felt pathetic.  
He wished Zack were with him to make him feel safe.  
Zack...

He thought about how sweet his brother had been that morning and smiled. It had been nice the way Zack had comforted him and made him feel safe.  
_Even nicer when he hugged me_, he thought.

He actually felt a little better as he pushed the bathroom door open and made his way over to the urinal. Just the thought of his twin was soothing and made him feel a little safer.

Finished peeing, he zipped up, washing his hands at the sink (making sure to scrub with soap thoroughly for germs).

As he left the bathroom, he looked up to see exactly what he had been dreading: Chris and his buddies, the guys who bullied him, heading up the corridor straight towards him.

Heart pounding, he ran down the hall to the left and ducked around a corner, preying they hadn't spotted him.  
He pressed his back against the wall, breathing heavily, more from fear than from the brief exertion.

Twenty or thirty seconds passed by and just when Cody thought it might be safe to head back to class, they walked around the corner and all of a sudden were right in his face.

Chris – the meanest guy, and at 5"10 and 160lbs, twice Cody's size – shoved into him hard with a shoulder as he walked past.  
He turned back and glared at Cody.  
"Hey, watch where you're going, little fucking queer."  
"I –I'm n-not – " he began in a meek effort to defend himself.

"Are you talking back to me?!" The bigger boy asked, angry now, as he marched back towards Cody, friends at his side.  
Cody tried to apologise, tell him, no, he wasn't, but all of a sudden his mouth felt very dry and he found it hard to swallow, as though he had a lump in his throat.

"Hey, maybe you outta teach him a lesson," jeered Adam, from the left of Chris.

Both boys advanced toward the blonde haired boy until there was only a couple of feet separating them.  
_There's gotta be a teacher around here _somewhere.

Chris pushed him backwards, and he felt a wave of nausea as his head connected with wall behind him, a dull _thunk_ echoing down the hall.  
He raised a hand and touched where his head had connected with the wall, and then looked up at the other boy  
"Problem?" Chris asked.  
"No."  
"Fucking nerd"  
_This is really my day_, Cody thought, trying not to cry.  
_I wish Zack was here._  
He knew he shouldn't rely on his brother for everything...but the only time he felt safe or happy was when he was with Zack. He made everything seem okay again.  
He tried to look away, at the nothingness in front of him.  
His back felt tight, his face hot.  
_Come on, teacher, where are you?_

"Fucking twat" Chris snarled, jeering and leaning his face in front of Cody's so that he had no choice but to look at him.  
He felt himself go hot and shaky again.

In spite of the air conditioning, Cody was bathed in sweat. His t-shirt felt sodden under his armpits. Cool trickles dribbled down his chest. His underwear was glued to his ass.  
I'm doomed, he thought.  
_Maybe he won't hurt me.  
Fat chance._

Chris grinned and pulled back one arm, making a fist.

And that was when Cody saw his twin at the end of the hallway, heading quickly towards them, like a knight on a white horse.

2

Strolling down the hallway eating a bag of Doritos, Zack wandered toward the school bathroom.  
He had skipped the last class before lunch – history was so boring and he was hungry.

As he made his way to the toilets – he still had 15 minutes to kill before lunch period started – he got to thinking about his exchange with Cody that morning.

He smiled when he remembered how he had hugged Cody.  
He liked people to think he was tough, not all sensitive like his brother, so he rarely allowed himself to hug his twin, though he often longed to.  
He loved the way he felt and smelled.  
He found it so reassuring and familiar.  
Like when he had hugged a girlfriend...but much better

_Stop it_! He snapped at himself.  
_He's NOT like a girlfriend_.

He shook his head, knowing Cody would be creeped out if he knew he had just thought that.

He wondered what was wrong with his twin. Cody had obviously been very worried and upset that morning. He had been like that most mornings for a while, and Zack felt bad that he didn't know why. He felt it was his duty to protect his little brother.

As he absentmindedly used the leg of his pants to wipe Dorito crumbs off of his fingers, he heard a thudding sound, followed by raised voices –_angry voices_, he thought – coming from down the hall to his left.

He listened hard to hear what they were saying, wondering if there was a fight or something going on, but he could only make out the odd muffled word.  
Curious, and still with more than ten minutes to spare before he could go get lunch, he followed the sound of the voices.  
When he reached a turn in the hallway, he stopped, and slowly peered round it so as not to be seen. Not because he was scared he might end up getting involved – Zack could take care of himself – but because if things got rowdy a teacher would come along to see what was going on, and mom would kill him if he got caught skipping class again.

_Oh shit_, he thought.  
It was Cody.  
_What the heck is he doing out of class...and with those_ _guys?  
_His confusion lasted only a few seconds, until he saw the bigger boy – _Chris something?_ – pull his arm back as if to strike Cody.  
Without a seconds' thought, he dashed around the corner and ran toward the scene, yelling at the bigger boys to get the hell away from his brother.

If he had not been so angry, he could have wept at the sight of his brother standing there, looking pale and afraid and suddenly very small.

3

Cody felt his tense muscles relax – just a little – as his twin ran toward them.

"Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing?" he shouted. "Get away from him".  
"Yeah, or what?" the bully replied.  
"Or I'll beat your face in, that's what" Zack snarled, hoping he looked braver than he felt.

"Oh, yeah?" one of the boys mocked and Chris took a few steps away from Cody, using one arm to shove Zack backwards, roughly.  
Zack shoved the boy, back, harder; and that was when the Vice Principal walked around the corner.

"Zack Martin! We do _not_ just go around shoving people. Detention tonight after school."

"He was just – " Cody started to explain, but was cut off.

"I'm not interested, there is no excuse for violence and I will not accept it in my school."

Cody was ready to try again to defend his brother, but that was apparently all the Vice Principal had to say as he walked off, calling over his back at them to get to class before he gave them _all_ detention.

"I don't know why you even bother trying to stick up for him." Chris muttered to Zack. "He's just a pathetic loser."

Cody looked at his feet, embarrassed and Zack snapped: "Blow it out of your ass, Chris" causing Cody to let out a burst of laughter.

"Oh, you'll be sorry for that." Chris said, seemingly more to Cody, even though it had been Zack who had stood up to him. "You'll be very fucking sorry."  
And with that, he took off, the other boys following him.  
He shoved Cody hard as he walked past, knocking him to the ground.

From his position on the floor, Cody saw Zack walk over to him and felt an arm wrap around his back, protectively.  
"Hey, are you okay?" his twin asked, softly.  
"S-sure, I'm fine, Zack" he said, trying to smile.  
_Now he knows.  
_Zack wrapped his hand around his twins' side and gently helped pull him to his feet, leaving one arm around his waist.

"You don't think I'm a loser do you, Zack?" He asked, self-consciously.  
"Of course not, Cody!" Zack exclaimed. "You're my brother and I love you."  
He kissed Cody on the forehead, tenderly.  
_Maybe this isn't going to be such a bad day, after all_, Cody thought, a pleasant warmth spreading through him.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

1

Cody Martin shivered as he walked out of school that afternoon, despite the stifling heat.

He had been counting on Zack to walk home with him, but now Zack was stuck in detention and Cody had to walk home by himself, bullies or no bullies.  
_Hopefully no bullies_, he thought. He had had enough for one day.

It had been a weird day for him in general. He was feeling scared and upset from his encounter with Chris and his buddies – but it was mixed with a sort of pleasant warm feeling in the pit of his stomach, knowing that Zack had protected him when he needed it.  
_It's not just in my mind,_ he smiled. _He really _is_ there for me._  
It was a very reassuring thought.

But Zack wasn't here now.  
He had never walked home alone before and although it couldn't have been more than a twenty minute walk – fifteen if he walked really fast – he felt distinctly anxious about it.

At least everything would be okay when he got to the Tipton, he thought. Moseby would never let the bullies in.  
_Doesn't even like it when we have _friends _over._

_Maybe I'll bake a cheesecake for mom and Zack...well, for Zack, really, to say thanks.  
After I do my homework, of course._

He knew his brother would like that.

Feeling encouraged, he stepped away from the school gate, and turned right, heading down the path that would lead the quickest way to the hotel.  
He walked quickly and chose to look down at the ground in front of him, rather than looking straight ahead.  
Best to avoid making eye contact with people and risking icy glares or cutting remarks.

It wasn't the same walking home alone. He normally got annoyed at Zack moaning about a teacher giving him a hard time for not doing the latest homework assignment, or bragging obnoxiously about some girl who liked him...but today, he really missed the sound of his brothers voice.

Reaching the pedestrian crossing, he pressed the button and waited for the traffic lights to flash green.

He thought he heard someone call him name from far away and turned around.  
Chris.  
No – worse: Chris and about four other boys.  
They were pretty far away from him – back near the school, perhaps 100 yards away.  
Far enough away so that Cody thought he could run if he had to.  
But not far enough away so that he could not make out Chris' mouth form the words "Get him" and then all five of them start sprinting in his direction.

2

Sitting behind his desk, a bored expression painted across his face, Zack Martin was the only one in the detention class that day.  
The teacher glanced at him over the top of the book she was reading and he glared at her, crossing his arms across his stomach, and slouching down further into his chair.

_I didn't even do anything!_ He thought.  
What kind of messed up school gave you detention for standing up to bullies? Wasn't that what you were _supposed_ to do?

_Like I even had a choice. How could I possibly have just left Cody like that to get hurt?_ _Nobody would stand by and watch somebody they loved being treated badly like that._

He pulled a bag of M&Ms out from his desk, poured a few into his hand, and tossed them into his mouth, watching out of the window as everybody else headed home.

"_Zack_. Do you know you're not supposed to do that in class?" the teacher snapped.

"No, but if you hum a few bars, I'll give it a go." He said, grinning cheekily with what he hoped was a winning smile.

"Very amusing. Put them away".

He emptied the rest of the candy directly into his mouth, chewed and swallowed.  
"Done!" he announced.

He thought back to how scared Cody had looked – both that morning before school, and then again when Chris and those guys had been having a go at him.  
It was like the look on his own face after they had snuck in to see _Zombie Mom_, even though Carey had told them not to....except worse.

_I don't think it was just a onetime thing,_ he thought.  
Could his little brother be being bullied?  
Surely Cody would have told him?  
He _hoped _Cody would have told him. They should be able to tell each other anything.  
_  
_As he looked out of the window, he saw Cody walk past.  
Smiling, he waved and tried to attract his attention, but his brother seemed to be intently focusing on the pavement in front of him.  
He wondered what he was looking at.

After Cody had passed the window and walked down the street to the crossing – barely visible from the classroom where Zack sat – he turned back to his desk and sighed, wishing this would just be over so he could go home and watch TV.

Rapid movement from outside the window caught his eye and he turned to see a group of bigger boys dashing past, off in the direction that Cody had gone in.

His heart hammered in his chest.  
_It couldn't be...?_  
But something told him that it was.

He felt his blood run cold and glanced at the clock. Still almost half an hour until he could leave.

3

_Come on, come on..._  
Cody thought impatiently, pressing his thumb on the button over and over again, as though it would make the light change any faster.  
He watched his tormenters get closer and closer to him, and quickly turned back to the road ahead.  
Cars raced past almost continuously. There was no way he would make it if he tried to just run for it.

He was shaking like crazy and his stomach kept lurching. Bile burned the back of his throat forcing him to swallow hard to resist the urge to throw up his lunch.

The lights finally changed and he pushed off, sprinting across the road, faster than he had ever moved in his life, not even bothered to look side-to-side for oncoming traffic or cars that had failed to stop when the lights changed.

Reaching the other side, he turned right again, still heading for the Tipton, breathing heavily, feet pounding the pavement.

He told himself not to cry, but tears leaked out of his eyes anyway, slowly running down his cheeks and dripping off his chin, making his face itch.

One of the boys – he didn't know who – shouted that he had better stop, or it was just gonna be worse for him when they caught him.

He hazarded a glance over his shoulder and saw they were slowly gaining on him.  
They were mostly twice his size, and Cody had never been athletically inclined like his brother. He had always concentrated more on reading and his studies.

_Halfway home, _he thought, lungs burning.  
Looking over his shoulder, he saw Chris only a couple of meters behind him and re-doubled his speed, struggling not to trip over his own feet, legs feeling like rubber.

Identical residential houses lined the path on the other side of the street, while a small forest-like plane of trees was just off to his left.  
Eyes spinning wildly around, he saw nobody that could help him if he needed it.

Despite his efforts, he felt fingers grasp at his shirt, just below the nape of his neck and tug backwards, knocking him off balance and sending him stumbling to the ground.

He hit the back of his head off the pavement (vaguely thinking how it was the second time he had done so that day) and his vision swam, everything going fuzzy and black spots appearing before his eyes.

He moaned, his skull pounding.  
He just had time think about how big the lump was going to be when five scowling faces appeared, looming over him.

Before Cody knew what was happening he was grabbed by two of the boys, their arms hooking under his as they lifted his top half off the ground and began to drag him off the path and through the thicket of trees and shrubbery.

_Out of sight_, he thought, his bowels feeling hot and squirmy.

As he watched as the street faded into obscurity through shrubbery and felt himself dumped back down in the dirt beside a tree, he felt alternately hot and cold waves of anxiety pour over him and he could not stop shivering, despite the heat.

"Told you you'd be sorry," Chris said and punched him in the face, point blank, his fist connecting with Cody's cheekbone, leaving a horrible numb sensation, rather than the pain he expected.

He barely had time to recoil when he was suddenly pummelled with blows from all directions, fists and feet connecting with his face, stomach, sides, legs.

By the time they had finished beating him, he was lying on the ground, bloody and bruised and barely able to move.  
He had finally stopped crying – he no longer felt upset or scared, he was just numb – and his tears, mixed with blood and dirt had begun to dry on his cheeks.

His last conscious thought was of his brother – _Zack, where are you?_ – before something struck the side of his head and everything went black.

He was still lying there in the dirt several hours later when the sun had gone down and it began to rain.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

**a/n thank you to everyone who has left reviews, I really appreciate it! :).**

1

His heart hammered in his chest.  
_It couldn't be...?  
_But something told him that it was.

He felt his blood run cold and glanced at the clock. Still almost half an hour until he could leave.  
But it really looked like Cody needed his help.  
Detention or no detention, he wasn't about to stand by and let his little brother get beaten up.

Zack raised his hand, not bothering to wait for the teacher to acknowledge him before speaking.  
"I really have leave. Right now," he said. "It's urgent."

"Yeah? And what is it _this_ time Zack?" She said sceptically, making him instantly regret all the lies he had told in the past to get out of detention.

He was torn between telling the truth and lying; he didn't have time to think up a good enough lie, but he knew Cody would feel betrayed if he told anyone – especially a teacher – that he was being bullied without him saying it was okay.

"I...think my brother might be in trouble," he said.

"No, Cody is a model student. _You_ are the one who is in trouble, Zack; this is your third detention in two weeks. If this happens again I'm going to have to bring your mother in."

"No, I mean I think he might need my help, he – "

"Enough, Zack! I'm not interested in lies. You'll just have to sit there for the duration of the detention, just like any other student."

Leaning backwards onto the back two legs of his chair, he craned his neck to try and look further up the path outside the window, past the traffic lights that Cody would have crossed at to get home. He saw nothing.

_Please, please be okay, Cody_.

Twenty five agonising minutes later, Zack was finally given permission to leave.  
Not even bothering to pick up his belongings, he jumped up and ran out of the door, preying he would find Cody sitting safely at home in their suite.

_Just let him be okay, please! I'll even watch a documentary on _The History Channel_ or study with him, just please let him be alright._

He sprinted along the sidewalk, flying past students, cars, houses, eyes frantically scanning the scenes around him looking for any sign of his brother.

About half way back to the Tipton, he stopped to catch his breath, bending forward and leaning his hands on his knees.

He was breathing heavily, and sweat was streaming down his face and back. Both his forehead and the nape of his neck felt soaked, the heat of the sun beaming down on him doing little to help.

Standing up straight again, he slowly scanned the area for any sign at all that Cody had been this way.  
Of course he found none. They may be twins and share a special connection, but Cody did not leave a visible trail behind him for Zack to follow.

_I'm probably being stupid_, he told himself, feeling annoyed that he had let himself get all worked up like that.  
He also felt a little embarrassed. To everyone, Zack was a very laid back and easy going guy. He _never_ got all anxious and freaked out like this. Never.

But it just felt different when it was Cody.

_It's just because I care_, he thought. _I care because Cody is important, unlike useless junk like homework and chores._

He told himself to calm down, Cody was safe at home. But – be it their twin bond, or intuition – he somehow knew that his brother was far from safe.

Shaking his head and trying to think clearly, he started walking toward the Tipton, closer to a jog than a walking pace but no longer running.

Little did he know that he had just spent the last few minutes standing less than twenty feet away from his twin's unconscious form.

2

Zack sat on the couch in the Martins' suite trying to calm down and watch TV.  
It wasn't working.  
He felt sick and he could barely make out what the characters on the TV program were saying over the sound of his pounding heart.

Carey had been out all evening. It was her busiest night for singing downstairs and she had left before Zack had gotten home from school. He knew it would be as late as 10 or 11pm before she came back up to the suite.  
So she had no idea that Cody has been missing for over 3 hours.

Thinking back to how he could have saved Cody, Zack finally broke down crying, tears streaming down his face as he sobbed in heart-wrenching gasps.  
_I'll never forgive myself_, he thought.  
He felt like screaming and hitting himself because, he thought, just maybe Cody would be home and safe right now if he has put a little more effort into getting out detention and going to help him.

_Why didn't I just _leave_?!_

After he had gotten home from school he had burst into the suite excitedly, hoping to see Cody sitting there reading or doing homework...but no Cody.

He became more seriously worried again at this point – he should have been home an hour ago. Besides, Carey told them to stay in the suite on the evenings she was performing and he knew that Cody would never break the rule (at least not without Zack's influence, anyway).

He spent the next half hour running around the hotel from room to room, asking everybody he saw if they had seen Cody, but even Maddie – who had been working behind the candy counter, facing the main entrance to the hotel all afternoon, said that she had not seen him come in.

Unsure what to do, he had returned to the suite once more to sit and think.  
Cody was the one who usually thought of a smart plan when they were in trouble; Zack was better at coming up with schemes, which – if he was entirely honest – were more of a way to goof off and spend time with is twin than anything else.

Sitting on the couch, desperate to find his twin but not knowing how, he pressed his hands to his face and sobbed into them, tears of anguish leaking through the cracks in his fingers. He ached to have his brother with him, to know he was okay.

He wracked his brain trying to think of where else Cody could have gone but came up with nothing. All of their friends were either mutual friends (Bob, Barbara), or lived in the Tipton (Maddie, London)...besides Cody had _never_ gone over to somebody else's house without him. And they told each other everything, he definitely would have mentioned it. Besides, the way he had been picked on earlier that day would have upset him too much to hang out; Cody was very sensitive.

Sitting in silence in the room made him realise just how empty life felt without his twin and he felt overwhelmed with grief for all of the times he had taken him for granted.

_Never again_, he promised himself. If Cody was okay, he would never ever take him for granted again. He would treat every moment they had together as the precious time it was.

He heard a loud rumbling of thunder and looked out of the rain washed window in time to see a flash of lightning brighten the evening sky.

_That's the last thing Cody needs when he out there, wherever he is_.

Cody was terrified of thunderstorms. The last time there had been one he had crept over to Zack in the middle of the night and asked to sleep in his bed.

He had stood, hovering anxiously over Zack until his brother had woken up.  
Looking down at his hands, which he was fidgeting with, Cody had tentatively asked: "Zack...?"  
"Mmmm, whadd is it, Code?" he mumbled, still mostly asleep.  
The thunder banged outside the window loudly, and Cody flinched visibly, looking shaken.  
"Can...can I sleep in your bed? Just this once? You know..." he murmured, gesturing at the window.  
"Don't be such a baby, Cody", he had snapped at him, grumpy at being awakened in the middle of the night.  
"Please Zack?" his twin had asked, looking at the ground, self-consciously. "I'm...scared."  
"Go to bed okay, Cody?"

Thinking about it now, Zack thought his heart might tear in two from guilt and regret. He would give _anything_ to take it back and let Cody sleep in his bed, to make him feel safe.

_Where are you, Cody?_

**a/n Sorry for making you wait another chapter to see what happens to Cody and if he is okay...next chapter you will find out :P.  
**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

1

_The boy with blonde hair shivered as he stumbled down the grey, rain-swept street, head down to fight against the wind and rain as he wondered disorientated, trying to make his way home. Home to the safety and warmth that he once knew but now felt had been pulled away from him, out of his life forever._

_He felt numb, both physically and emotionally and yet he could not stop sobbing, tears of anguish dripping down his face and mixing with the drops of rain on his cheeks and chin._

_His skin was pale, his eyes blank from shock._

_He looked out-of-place wearing only jeans and a shirt in such miserable weather, the dirt and leaves clinging to him only adding to the alienation of his appearance.  
Wondering through the storm had not been sufficient enough to cleanse the blood stains from his clothing, and cuts and vicious bruises showed cruelly through tears in the fabric._

_Although the bruises on his body caused him to become wracked in pain with every step he took, it was his face that bore the worst of the beating: one eye black, swollen almost shut; his bottom lip split and bloody. There was a large lump already forming on the side of his head and dried blood was matted in his hair around it. His cheeks and forehead both patterned in a network of smaller bruises and abrasions._

_Thunder clapped loudly in the dark sky above him, quickly followed by a brief flash of lightning and fear once more cut through the numbness, causing his pulse to race and his stomach to drop._

_He wrapped his arms around himself, shivering._

_As he neared the entrance to the hotel, he just preyed he would make it to his bedroom without anybody noticing him. He didn't want to been seen like this._

2

Trembling, Cody Martin gripped the handle of the door to the Martins' suite on the 23rd floor of the Tipton Hotel.  
He roughly wiped tears out of his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt, not even noticing that his shirt was already sodden from the rain or that the tears were swept away only to immediately be replaced by fresh ones.  
He wondered if he would ever be able to stop crying again.

He hesitated for a moment, fingers lingering on the doorknob. He had managed to get this far unnoticed – the lobby was always quiet this late in the evening and he had just been lucky that Moseby had not been around – but what would he say to Zack and his mom?

Although he had done nothing wrong, an uneasy feeling of guilt washed over him at the thought of what seeing him would do to Carey.

_She's downstairs singing_, a voice in the back of his head reminded him.

He wondered for a minute of he should go down, wait for her. If she knew he was missing she might be worried sick. He didn't want to upset her any more than she was already going to be.  
And, if he was honest with himself, he needed his mommy to hug him and comfort him.

But Zack would probably be in the suite...and as much as he wanted to be with his mom, what he really wanted was to be held by his twin, to have Zack wrap him up in his arms, hold him tight and tell him he was going to make everything okay and that he would never let go.

Taking a deep breath, he turned the handle and walked unsteadily into the suite.

3

Zack Martin was sitting on the couch, knee's draw up to his chest, beside himself with worry when his brother walked into the room.

He had pictured this scene so many times in his head, over and over, for the past few hours that for a second he thought it was just his imagination. He heart leaped as his eyes showed him what was too good to be true.

But then he noticed it wasn't how he had imagined it at all because in his imagination, his brother had been happy and safe and all apologetic for spending so long at the library...but the boy he saw now was barely recognisable as the boy who he had seen that afternoon.

Cody's skin – in the areas that were uninjured – was an ashen grey, dark circles around his eyes, which were red and puffy from crying.

He clothes were dirty and torn, speckled with blood and his brother was dripping wet from being outside in the storm for so long.

He felt like he must have been sitting there for hours, gaping in shock and horror at his twin, when really it must have been seconds, because Cody had only had time to take two steps across the kitchen, toward the main part of the suite.

"Cody!" he cried, jumping up from the sofa, tears misting his own eyes. "What _happened_ to you?"

He was overcome with emotion and ran over to him in the kitchen, not wanting to wait for Cody to get to him.

He flung his arms around Cody and squeezed, not caring that his clothes were getting filthy and damp.  
He rubbed one hand up and down his brothers back gently in a soothing motion and brushed the other through Cody's hair, carefully.

Cody opened his mouth to speak, to answer Zack's question, but all that came out was a broken cry of agony and he broke down, crying loudly into the side of his brothers' neck, his back hitching as his breath kept catching in his chest from the force of his sobs.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Zack said softly, trying to calm him. "It's okay. I'm here now. I'm here for you. Everything's going to be okay."

He moved both arms around Cody, pulling his brother against him and Cody responded, in turn, by wrapping his arms around Zack's back, hugging him close and sealing the gap between them.

Cody leant his head against his brothers' shoulder, still unable to speak through his weeping, and Zack brought one hand up, away from his twins back and stroked the back of his head tenderly, avoiding the part that was tangled with dried blood.  
The sight of the blood – the thought of Cody being hurt in _any_ way – was too much for Zack to bear and tears silently leaked down his own cheeks as he shared his twins' pain.

He desperately wanted to know what had happened, how badly he was hurt, what he could do to help, but he could see that Cody wasn't ready to speak yet and that was okay with Zack. He was willing to give all the time in the world for Cody.

Zack didn't know how much time passed while he stood there like that, his brother leaning into him, crying in his arms, but it was a long time before either of them spoke, apart from Zack uttering the occasional reassurance that he was going to be okay.

"Z-Zack...?" Cody said, sniffing. He raised his head from his brothers' shoulder slightly, but kept his eyes looking downward toward the floor, as though unable to meet his gaze.

"Yeah?" He responded, softly.

"I'm sorry."

"Cody, you have _nothing _to be sorry for," he told him and used one hand to raise his brothers' chin so that he could look at his face. "_None_ of this is your fault. Don't you ever think that, not for a second."

His twins' tear-filled eyes, so full of sorrow and hurt, met his and before he could stop himself, he leaned in and kissed Cody on the lips, gently, aware that they were split quite badly on one side. His brothers' lips were soft and warm, parted slightly and Zack extended his tongue, allowing it briefly to connect with his brothers' before pulling away, guiltily.

"Gee, I'm sorry, Cody." He said, feeling slightly ashamed, as though he were taking advantage. "I didn't mean – I just – "

"I-it's okay, Zack...it was nice," Cody told him, nodding slightly in reassurance, holding onto him even more affectionately before, rather than pulling away like Zack had expected.

"Hey, what do you say I take you through to our bathroom and get those cuts taken care of, okay?" he asked. "Do you think you need stitches for anything?"

"No, I'll be fine" Cody said as they turned and walked toward the bathroom connected to their bedroom, Zack keeping an arm around Cody's shoulders as his twin leaned against him, nervously.

"And thanks, Zack, for caring about me," he added quietly.

"Any time, Codester", he smiled. "You know you mean the world to me right? I was so scared when you went missing and I couldn't find you. Losing you would have been the worst thing that could ever have happened to me."

In the bathroom, Zack helped him sit down on the edge of the bathtub before getting the first aid box out of the medicine cabinet.

"Good thing you were always so obsessive about keeping this thing around because of germs," he laughed. "Guess it'll come in handy after all."

He gently tended to the wounds on Cody's face and neck, first cleaning them with a cloth before disinfecting and bandaging them.  
He tried to be as gentle as possibly, but Cody still flinched in pain several times – each time accompanied by a quick "sorry" from Zack – and winced a little each time the disinfectant spray stung his cuts.

"Um, I think, maybe, you should take your wet clothes off." Zack told him, uncharacteristically embarrassed, his cheeks turning red slightly in a perfect imitation of the blush he found so cute on his twin. "They're filthy. And they have blood on them...do you have more cuts? Underneath?"

"Mostly just bruises, but there's a few, I think." Cody said, unbuttoning his shirt and dropping it into the bathtub behind him.

Zack gasped and fought back tears as he saw his brothers' chest and stomach, mottled with deep purple bruises. There was a long cut across his chest, drawing a harsh red line from his left nipple almost all of the way down to the bottom of the right hand side of his ribcage. Although long, the cut didn't look very deep.

Cody removed his jeans and boxers, feeling self-conscious standing there naked in front of his twin.

Zack noticed his brothers cheeks turn pink and couldn't help but smile a little despite what he had been through – and the horrors he couldn't even imagine that Cody must have been through.

"It's okay...we're twins, right? We can be totally comfortable around each other."

Several minutes – and several bandages – later, Cody was all cleaned and bandaged up, and looking much better.

"I'm just going into our bedroom for a second...will you be okay here on your own until I get back?" Zack asked, not really wanting to leave him alone for even a second after thinking he might never see him again only hours ago.

"I-I think so," Cody said and tried to smile. "Just hurry, okay?" he added, biting his lower lip anxiously.

"You won't even notice I'm gone," Zack assured him and kissed him tenderly on the forehead before rushing off.

He returned less than a minute later, dressed in his PJ's and with a clean pair of pyjamas and some socks for his brother.

"I thought you could use these," He said, handing them over.

"Thanks, Zack. That was really sweet of you...you – you're amazing." He told him, trying to express the gratitude he felt, as he got dressed.

He was still shaky from his ordeal and his fingers couldn't quite fasten the buttons on his top properly. He smiled sheepishly at his brother, and Zack came over and did them up for him.

"There. Much better." He smiled.

Still feeling scared, Cody hugged his twin again, leaning into the comforting familiarity of him once more, enveloping him in his arms, feeling safer when Zacks' arms drew him in closer, holding him tightly.

"Zack?"

"Mmm?"

"I-I love you."

"I love you, too, Codes." Zack told him, wondering how it could be possible to love another person so deeply.

When the hug broke, Zack took his brothers' hands in his own and led him through into their bedroom.

"You go to bed now, okay? You need to rest. I'll be here watching over you the whole time, I promise. And don't worry about mom. You won't have to say a thing if you don't want to, I'll explain everything to her when she gets back from working."

Cody nodded gratefully.

"It w_as_ those guys from school, wasn't it? They did this to you?"

"Y-yes" Cody stammered, shaking a little, tears resurfacing in his eyes.

"It's okay now. You're safe, okay? I'm here and I'm never going to let anybody hurt you again."

Zack sat down on the edge of his bed next to Cody's to show him that he planned to stay with him until he fell asleep.

"Zack, can...can I maybe...sleep in your bed tonight?" his twin asked him, tentatively. "I'm scared".

He averted his eyes self-consciously, afraid of rejection, remembering what had happened last time he had been scared and wanted to sleep with his brother.

But this time Zack simply said: "Every night for as long as you want, Cody" and lifted up the covers for him.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

1

Zack waited until his brother had climbed into his bed and then folded the duvet over him as he curled into a foetal position on his side.  
He had thought that – given the ordeal his twin had been through – Cody would have fallen asleep almost immediately, but instead he lay there, shivering slightly, eyes wide open.

"You okay, Codes?" he whispered, trying to keep the atmosphere peaceful to aid his brothers sleep. "Need any blankets or anything?".

"No, I'm fine, thanks." Cody replied, the corner of his mouth turning up slightly in an attempted smile.

But he didn't look fine; he looked like a scared little boy, so Zack moved from his position on the edge of the bed, shifting himself over and sitting cross-legged right beside his brother.

"I'm not going anywhere, okay?" he assured him. "I'll be right here all night to protect you," he added and reached over, clasping one of Cody's hands in his own.  
The hand felt cold and clammy to touch and he wondered if maybe his brother was still in shock.

"Do you want me to get your blankey?" He asked. He knew Cody often still slept with it or held it when he was upset about anything. "I promise not to rag on you about it this time...at least, not until morning, anyway," he teased.

"No, that's okay," Cody mumbled sleepily. "I don't need it when I've got you."  
He gave Zack's hand a gentle squeeze before letting go and turning over onto his side, now facing him. He shifted himself over a little and rested his head on Zack's chest, wrapping an arm around his waist and snuggling into him.  
The warmth and familiar smell of his twin soothed Cody's nerves a little and he relaxed, feeling calmer.  
He could hear Zack's heart beating through his chest and found the steady rhythm oddly comforting.

"Y-you don't mind, d-do you?" he asked nervously, hoping he wasn't making Zack feel awkward.

"No, no, of course not," Zack told him, a little surprised but not uncomfortable. "I guess I can be your blankey for tonight."

He hooked his arm under Cody's and rested his hand across his stomach as Cody closed his eyes, exhausted, and finally slept.

2

Zack waited a long time after Cody had fallen silent and started breathing slowly and deeply before deciding he was definitely asleep.

He slowly moved out from under Cody's arms and rested his twins head on the pillow of his bed. He really didn't want to leave him – wanted to fall asleep there himself – but he knew Carey would be back soon and he had to talk to her, explain to her what had happened.  
He had promised Cody.

Treading slowly and softly he made his way through to the living room of the suite, being especially careful on his own half of the room, taking care not stand on any of the mess for fear of stepping on something noisy or sharp.

In the main suite he sat down on the couch.  
Shivering in the chill night room – _how can the night be so cold when it was SO hot earlier today? - _he rubbed his arms through the fabric of his pyjamas, wishing he had brought a blanket through with him.  
Goosebumps broke out over his skin.  
He thought about going back and getting the duvet off Cody's bed but decided it was best not to risk waking him in the process.

His stomach rumbled audibly in the otherwise silent room and he realised that he hadn't had dinner.

_I didn't even get a candy bar after school_, he was surprised to realise. He _always_ went straight to the candy-counter after school to buy some chocolate and flirt with Maddie.  
In his worry about Cody, neither of those things had so much as entered his head in the past 6 hours or so.

He thought about going down to the lobby, but was pretty sure the candy-counter would be closed by now. Besides, he wasn't really in the mood for chocolate.  
And for once he _didn't_ _want_ to flirt with Maddie.

_Because I just want Cody_, something in mind told him. _I want to go back into the bedroom and wrap my arms around him and never let him go. Never let him disappear like that again._

_But why does that make me not want Maddie anymore? I love Cody as a brother and Maddie as a girlfriend; the two kinds of love should be totally separate._

But he knew deep down that that wasn't entirely true.  
His affections for Cody ran deeper than just being brothers.

_Could I...could I be _in love_ with him?_ He wondered, stomach going fluttery and heart racing at the idea. Sometimes it was hard to tell. He and Cody had always been very close and sometimes he couldn't help thinking Cody was cute or wanting to kiss him...  
_No, stop it!_ He told himself. The last thing Cody needed right now was for him to start acting weird. He needed someone he could trust; not someone to freak him out even more.

Trying to distract himself, he walked over to the fridge and peered inside, wondering if there was any of that left-over pizza left.  
_How's a guy supposed to get to sleep without any dang pizza?_ He thought.

He cringed when he saw all that was in there was his mom's tuna casserole. He took a sniff of it and gagged. It smelled like one of his old gym socks.

_Maybe I'll order a hot fudge Sunday from room service..._

He strolled over to the cabinets above the sink, the slick linoleum tiles feeling cool against his bare feet and causing him to shiver involuntarily as a chill ran all the way up his spine.

_Bingo!_ He thought as he opened the cupboard, grabbing a large bag of potato chips and tearing them open.  
He poured about half of the contents into a bowl and then wondered back over to the couch, licking the salty crumbs off his fingers.

Picking up the remote, Zack switched the TV channel over to wrestling, careful to keep the volume low, the glare of the TV screen brightening up the room, but doing nothing for the temperature.

He was just finishing off the chips twenty minutes later when Carey walked in through the door, sighing and putting her purse down on the kitchen counter, tired.

"Zack, what are you still doing up?" she asked, frowning. "Where's Cody?"

"Mom...I have to tell you something", Zack said, standing up and wiping his fingers clean on the sides of his pyjamas.

"What did you do?" she asked looking at him through narrowed eyes. "Did you get detention _again_?"

"No! Well, yeah..." he said flippantly, rolling his eyes. "But that's not what I meant. I mean – it's Cody. He had a little trouble with a couple of bullies after school. They beat up on him a little."

"Oh, my poor baby!" Carrie exclaimed, switching from suspicious to concerned in a split second, marching toward the boys' bedroom.

"Mom, mom, mom, mom, _mom_!" Zack hissed, running over to her and grabbing her arm to stop her. "He's fine! Just let him sleep, okay?...Really, he's fine; I took care of him."

"_You_ took care of _Cody?_" she asked, raising an eyebrow sceptically, causing Zack to feel bad about how insensitive he had sometimes been to his brother in the past.

"Yeah, well, I just made sure he wasn't hurt or anything..." he muttered, feeling embarrassed. He didn't mind letting his sensitive side show in front of Cody sometimes – he loved him too much to hide his affection completely – but it just made him uncomfortable in front of anybody else.

"Well, I'm proud of you, sweetie," Carey said, ruffling his hair and beaming at him. "Cody's a lot more sensitive than you are and it's great that you can stick up for him if he needs it."

"Yeah, yeah, as long as he does my homework." He said and then backtracked when he saw the look on her face adding "Uh...I mean, _helps me study_....improve my _grades_..."

"Mmhmm...Go to bed now, it's late and you have school tomorrow."

"Sure. 'Night, mom," he responded and turned away, headed toward his bedroom, leaving Carey to wonder why he hadn't tried to persuade her to let him stay up playing video games or watching TV, like he usually did.

3

Back in his bedroom, Zack climbed into bed and lay on his right side, propped up on his elbows, watching his brother sleep.  
He had that feeling again that he got sometimes when he looked at Cody. His mouth felt dry and his pulse was racing, his whole body shaking slightly.

_This is wrong_, he told himself. _He's my brother_ – _my _twin – _I'm supposed to love him, but not in a _romantic _way.  
_ He wondered if Cody would be disgusted if he told him how he felt and decided he probably would.

Some of Cody's hair had fallen across his face and Zack leaned over and brushed it back, behind his ear.  
He could smell his twin as he did it and he smiled, feeling warm inside. He always smelled clean and like...well, there was no way to describe it. He smelled like _Cody_.

He lay down properly, still on his side, and wrapped an arm around his brother.

"Oh, Cody," he whispered. "If only you knew..." and kissed him goodnight on the cheek.

**a/n Sorry if it wasn't the most exciting chapter...some development, though, and it will get better, I promise :P.**

**Review ? :).  
**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

1

At seven o clock in the morning, his brother's alarm clock started blaring loudly, forcing Cody Martin out of his deep sleep.

At first he wasn't sure why he wasn't in his _own_ bed, or why he felt like he had just been hit by a truck...And then it all came flooding back to him and he suddenly wished he hadn't remembered.

Opening his eyes, he saw Zack's face only inches away from his, still sleeping peacefully. He could feel one of Zack's hands was draped over his buttocks and his own arm was around his twin's waist, their legs tangled up together.

_It's a good thing I woke up before mom came in_, he thought.

He knew he should probably climb back into his own bed for now, but he was so comfortable he just couldn't bring himself to move.

He lay there instead, observing his brother sleep, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest, close enough to feel Zack's breath on his face every time he exhaled.

Minutes passed and eventually Zack's eyelids fluttered open. He looked dazed for a moment, but then his eyes focused on Cody and he smiled.

"M-morning, Zack," Cody said, shyly. Something about being so physically close to him made him feel nervous.

The coldness from the previous night had still not let off (or maybe Carey just had the air-conditioning cranked up way too high) and Cody felt really snugly and warm under the covers with Zack. He snuggled closer to him and moved his other arm so that both were around his twins' waist.

"Hey," Zack smiled and kissed him on the nose, causing Cody to giggle in spite of how awful he felt.

"Ahh, I missed that sound," Zack beamed.

He rubbed his hand up and down Cody's back and pulled him a little closer.  
Cody rested his head on the pillow, right on Zack's shoulder.

"This is just like when we were kids before we moved to the Tipton and you'd sneak into my bed whenever mom and dad were fighting." Zack said.

"Even though you teased me and called me a baby for getting scared and crying when we could hear them screaming at each other, you would still always hug me and make up stories to tell me until I fell asleep." Cody smiled, looking at him fondly.

"You always stuck up for me, too." Zack told him, turning over onto his side so he could face his twin. "When I got bad report cards or detention, I always heard you – after we had gone to bed and you thought I was asleep – trying to persuade mom to go easy on me about it. You were always on my side, even when I was wrong and I loved you for being so sweet. And I never told you. Until yesterday I never told you I love you because I was embarrassed and because I'm the 'tough' twin. I never knew if you knew, so I just want to tell you, I always thought I had an excellent brother."

"I love you, too, Zack. You pick on me and call me a nerd" – he made a face at Zack to show he didn't mean it in a bad way – "But you made me feel safe, and your strength made me stronger."

"I wish we could stay like this forever," Cody said.

"Me, too, Codester, me, too."

"I... I'm so scared of going to school, Zack!" Cody said, and felt himself tearing up again. He really didn't want to cry – didn't want to ruin the nice moment – but he couldn't help himself.

"Hey, it's okay. I'll stick with you all day, the only time we'll be apart is when we're in different classes, and there will always be a teacher there right? Nothing's going to happen to you."

"Th-thanks, Zack," Cody smiled. "I don't know what I'm gonna do now in school – who I'm going to talk to – but I know I'll be safe and happy with you when we get home."

2

After washing and getting dressed, Zack and Cody walked into the main suite for breakfast, Zack standing close to Cody protectively, even though he knew that there was nothing to protect him from right then.

He really wanted to touch his twin – to put an arm around his shoulders – but he knew there was no reason to and he might make Cody uncomfortable.

Cody looked at him and he smiled back at him reassuringly, deciding that he had to do what was best for his brother right now, not what was best for himself.

Carey winced when she saw Cody's bruised, swollen face.

"Aww, honey, I'm so sorry that happened to you," she said wrapping an arm around him in a hug and smoothing down his hair. "I want you to tell the principal who did it today, okay?"

"Wait, you're making him go to s_chool_ today?" Zack exclaimed. "Look at him, mom."

Cody looked up at her pleadingly.

"You still need to go to school, Cody," she said. "You know that. You can't miss out on school just because you are having trouble with a couple of other students. I promise we will get the bullying sorted out, though."

"But I'm really scared mom," Cody said and Zack could see tell that he was struggling not to cry from the way his lips quivered slightly and the watery look in his eyes.

"I know, Cody, but you can't just run away from your problems, you have to face them. It's just a part of growing up."

Zack walked over to his brother and put his hands on his shoulders, standing behind him.

"But he's injured, too."

"Cody's going to school and that's final." Carey said. "I'm just trying to do what's best for you, Cody." She said.

Cody started shaking visibly and his stomach turned as he struggled not to throw up.

_I _can't_ go! _ He thought, panicking. _What if I get beaten up_ _again...or worse?_

"Well if you won't protect him, _I will_," said Zack bravely, wrapping an arm around Cody from behind and pulling him close, embarrassment over being seen showing his sensitive side lost in his instincts to protect his little brother.

Cody turned his head and looked at him, grateful.

"C'mon, Codes," Zack said, guiding him out of the suite. "Let's go to school."

3

It was during gym – the last class of the day – that everything went horribly wrong and changed their lives forever.

Of course Cody has been very nervous on the way to school – had been very nervous all day long a_t_ school – but Zack had hung out with him all day, being his usual cheeky self and by lunch he was starting to calm down at least a little.  
They had a lot of separate classes, but Zack was somehow always waiting outside the door for Cody when the bell rang at the end of class.

The last class of the day was gym, which they both had together.

As soon as they started playing dodge ball and Chris and half a dozen other boys starting throwing the balls at Cody as hard as they could, Zack knew that there was something going on. He had a niggling feeling all during the game that something bad was going to happen, but he just couldn't put his finger on what.

The game ended and they were teamed up again – this time both twins on the same side – and the other boys started on Cody again, singling him out and throwing the ball unnecessarily hard, despite the fact that he was clearly hurt already.

Cody whimpered. He had thought he would be safe as long as he was on Zack's team – and he was certainly safer, Zack was right near him the whole time. But the shots kept on coming.

Chris threw a ball at Cody from point blank, not twenty feet away from him and it smacked him in the face.  
He cried out and fell back onto the floor, nose bloody, tears streaming down his face.  
He looked at the floor, feeling humiliated as everybody stared at him.

"What a fucking cry-baby", he heard somebody say.  
Someone muttered something he couldn't quite make out and everybody laughed.

But Zack wasn't laughing.  
He ran straight over to his brother, face full of concern.  
"Cody! Are you alright?" he asked, helping him up.  
Not caring that they were the center of attention, he pulled the front of his gym top up and used it to wipe Cody's face clear of tears and snot, along with a little blood from his nose.

"You fucking jerk! What the hell did you do that for?" Zack shouted at Chris across the gym, causing the coach to finally speak up.

"Zack Martin! I will not have swearing in my class!"

"But he hit Cody in the face!" Zack shouted angrily, as he started to make his way out of the gym, guiding Cody along with him.

"Where are you going, Zack?" Coach asked. "Cody can go to the nurse by himself, he's not a baby."

"But, I want to go with him." Zack protested, knowing that it was no good.

"I'm sorry, Cody." He said softly. "Will you be okay in the nurse's office for a while? I'll be there as soon as class is over."

He wanted to hug his twin so badly, but knew he couldn't in front of the entire class. He might love Cody, but he still had a reputation he wanted to uphold.

Cody nodded sadly and slowly made his way out of the gym as the Coach shouted the game was over, telling all of the boys to go to the changing rooms.

As the boys collectively ran for the changing room, shouting and laughing, sneakers squeaking audibly on the gymnasium floor, Zack tried to push his way through, find his way to Cody. He could get changed when he got home, his brother was more important.

It was no use, though; he completely lost sight of his twin as the short hallway between the gymnasium and the locker rooms was crowded with students eager to get home.

Busy trying to spot Cody's mop of blonde hair through the crowd, Zack was taken completely by surprise when he was grabbed from behind and shoved into the storeroom to his left.  
He felt himself shoved backwards and fell hard onto the cold cement floor, landing on his right hand side hard enough so that he would later have purple bruises mottled over his right thigh and arm the next day.

"Hey, what –" he shouted in heated protest, but the door was slammed shut on him, plunging him into darkness before he had a chance to finish his sentence, or even understand what had happened.

He heard a scraping sound as a key was inserted and the door locked, trapping him inside.

"Let's see you try and defend your little fag of a brother now!" he heard someone jeer through the door followed by laughter.

"Come on guys, let me _out!_"He shouted, banging on the door with both fists.

His heart was pounding in his chest and with every beat he heard his brother's name: _Cody-Cody-Cody_.

4

Shaking, Cody made it almost to the end of the hallway before he was grabbed by Chris and pulled into the boy's locker room.

The way the bullies' arm flung itself roughly around his shoulders as he was being pushed reminded Cody of the loving way that Zack had done the same thing, and it made him feel like crying.

Everything was a blur– it happened so quickly – as he was pulled into the room, boys forming a circle around him and shoving him back and forth between them.

"S-stop it!" he managed to stutter, hands pushing him from all directions. He found it hard to focus his eyes as he was pushed repeatedly, giving him a nauseating sensation of vertigo.

Images of the previous day – being cornered in school; Zack helping him; walking home from school and being chased and beaten – flashed through his mind and he passed out, falling unconscious to the floor of the locker room.

5

Zack stopped banging on the store room door after about ten minutes of hammering and shouting.

_It must be too loud in the locker rooms for anyone to hear me_, he thought.

Looking around the cramped space surrounding him, he squinted in the darkness to try and see something he could use to get out with. A spare key, maybe, or something to pick the lock with.

The only light coming in was through the small crack around the doorframe, so he had to get down on his hands and knees and feel around as well as using his eyes.

Nothing.

_I've gotta get out of here and help Cody, _he thought anxiously.

Spying a tube of metal piping lying along the ground next to one of the walls, he smiled and picked it up, testing its strength.

It seemed pretty thick and strong.

Holding it firmly in both hands, he swung it, aiming for the door handle, hoping to break the lock mechanism inside.

There was a loud _clang_ as metal struck metal and the pipe vibrated violently in his hands, causing tremors to run up his arms and down his whole body.

There was no click of a lock being switched, but he tested the door anyway. It didn't budge.

He swung again, harder.

This time the pipe bent slightly and the door handle dented in significantly, the wood around it splintering from the force.

One more whack and it broke, the door swinging open so hard it almost flung back against itself.

He sighed with relief, breathing heavily. Sweat was trickling down his back and the sides of his face from the exertion.

"Cody?" he shouted, charging out of the room and down the hallway, just in time to see Chris and his buddies running away in the opposite direction, away from the boys' locker room.

_Oh, God, Cody_, he thought. His legs turned to jelly and he felt all hot and squirmy inside.

Pulse racing, he slowly pushed open the door to the locker room and stepped inside.

"Co-Cody?" he called, surprised to hear how frightened his voice sounded. "Codes? Are you in here? It's me, Zack!"

He wondered through the room, past rows of benches and around a corner, toward where the showers were and that's when he spotted his twin.

His brother was sitting naked at the far end of the large communal shower area, his knees drawn up to his chest and his back against the tiles of the wall.

He didn't look good. He was paler than Zack had ever seen him before and he was bleeding in a few places, the blood occasionally dripping down his body. There was a glob of spit on his left cheek which he either hadn't noticed or hadn't bothered to wipe away.

"Oh my God, Cody, are you okay?!"

He ran over to his twin and knelt beside him.

"Cody, are you okay?" Zack asked, not even aware of the tears streaming down his face or the fact that he was sobbing loudly.

He rubbed a hand up and down Cody's back before hugging him tightly, squeezing him as though scared that he might slip away forever if he left go.

"I'm so sorry, Cody. I'm so sorry" he cried, agonised that his twin had been through another trauma – another one he told himself he maybe could have prevented.

Realising his brother was not responding he let go and moved back slightly, kneeling down on the wet tiles in front of Cody.

He suddenly noticed that Cody had not moved; had not even looked at him since he had entered the room. He just sat there, knees drawn in, arms wrapped around his legs, staring into space ahead of him.

Suddenly very afraid, Zack said: "Cody...please talk to me...are you okay?"

Nothing.

"Co-Cody? Can you hear me?" He asked, reaching out and shaking him gently.

But there was no response.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

**a/n Sorry it's not a very long chapter this time...but hopefully short and sweet :)**

1

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder," the doctor said, addressing Carey, but looking sympathetically at Cody.

Cody was sitting on the examination table in the doctor's room where he has been taken by Carey and Zack as soon as his brother had brought him home from school.

The steal surface of the table felt cool through the material of his three-quarter length cargo pants and he shivered, drawing his legs up to his chest once more and looking down at the floor. He wished everybody would leave; they were scaring him.

The harsh florescent lighting of the doctors' office was only adding to his apprehension, making him feel like he was under a spotlight.

He had still barely spoken the whole time, the few words he had said had been only to Zack, and he avoided eye contact with people, shying away frightened whenever anybody came close to him.

"I'll need to see him again in a couple of weeks when the shock has worn off and he is maybe more able to talk about what happened. He'll probably need treatment with psychotherapy from there and maybe medication if he doesn't improve."

"Thanks..." Carey told him, not really knowing what to say. "I guess we'll see you again in two weeks. Come on Cody, it's time to go."

Cody didn't move. Didn't even look up or acknowledge that he had heard her, just stared down at his hands in his lap which he was wringing anxiously.

Sighing, she walked over to her son and reached a hand out for him.

"Come on, we're going home now okay, honey?" she said. After a few seconds passed and he didn't grab her hand she sighed sadly and made her way toward the door to leave hoping he would follow her.

For once in his life Zack felt scared and helpless.

"Co-Cody?" he asked tentatively, walking over to his twin and touching his shoulder gently.

Cody raised his head a little and looked at Zack nervously before scanning the rest of the room quickly as though looking for potential threats.

Zack extended a hand to his brother, just like his mother had done moments earlier.

"You don't need to feel afraid and alone. Just look at the spaces between my fingers, and know that that's where your fingers fit perfectly," he said and, slowly, Cody reached his own hand out and grasped his fingers loosely around Zack's allowing himself to be pulled down off of the doctors table.

"I'm scared..." he whispered, quietly enough so that Zack could hear him but so that the doctor and his mom couldn't.

"It's okay, I've got you." Zack said and Cody wrapped an arm around Zack, leaning into him and burying his head into his twins shoulder as though trying to hide from everyone else, seeking safety in his brothers' arms.

2

Zack Martin awakened from his dreams to the sound of his little brother screaming.

Jolting upright in bed, eyes flying open, he saw his twin suddenly jump to sitting position almost at the same time as himself, and start sobbing hysterically, looking terrified.

"Cody, what's wrong?" he exclaimed, leaping out of bed so quickly that his legs tangled up in the bed sheets causing him to go sprawling across the floor, something both boys would have laughed at under any other circumstances.

Instead of answering him, Cody sat huddled, head hidden in his arms, still crying.

Walking over to him, Zack sat next to him on the bed and draped an arm around his back, occasionally patting him or smoothing his hand up and down the back of his pyjama top soothingly.

"I h-had a n-nightmare about...what hap-happened," Cody told him when he was finally ready and looked at his twin through tear-filled eyes.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, man," Zack said guiltily. "You know I tried my best, don't you?"

Cody nodded slightly and then flung his arms around his twin, bawling.  
"I can't stand it!" he cried. "It's so _horrible_."

"I know it seems bad right now, but things will get better for you, I promise they will, Code." Zack said comfortingly as he held his twin.

"I'm sorry for being such a nerd and for ruining things for everyone. Please don't hate me, Zack."

"Of course I don't hate you! I could never hate you, Codes! I love you with all my heart."

"R-really?" Cody asked, sniffing and wiping tears out of his eyes.

"Yes, really. The other day when you disappeared and I was so scared, I looked out of the window that night when I was praying for you to come back. I looked at the stars and tried to match each one with a reason why I love you. I told myself that if I could do it, then you would come back, you would be safe. I was doing great...but then I ran out of stars."

"Zack, that's so..." Cody started but he couldn't think of how to express himself so instead he kissed his brother on the cheek softly. "Thank you. It means so much to me that you care."

He was blushing slightly, as though embarrassed and said: "I hate myself for being such a wimp, for being so afraid of everything. I'm so sorry to be such an embarrassment of a brother to you, you deserve better."

"Hey, don't be silly," Zack told him, and stretched his sleeve down over his hand before using it to wipe the tears off his brothers' face. "I love everything you hate about yourself, they are the reasons I fell in love with you. I think – "

And then he stopped speaking, suddenly horrified, realising what he had just said.

Time seemed to freeze-frame and the room spun as he realised how one slip of the tongue had just ensured that - for better or for worse - his life would never be the same again.

Cody's head flicked quickly to face him, his eyes widening slightly. "Y-you...you're _in love_ with me?" he asked uncertain if his brother was joking or not.

For a moment Zack thought that he was going to pass out as his vision swam and his heart raced.  
_How could I just blurt it out without thinking? How could I be so s_tupid?

"Yeah, Cody...I think maybe I am. I'm so sorry," he started crying himself. Zack the tough twin, Zack who was never ashamed or self-conscious. "...I didn't mean for this to happen, I didn't want this to happen, but I just love you so fucking much and I can't help it and..."

He trailed off, not knowing how to explain, wishing he could take it all back. He was terrified that Cody would hate him now, would think he was disgusting.

Instead, Cody shocked him by smiling.

"I love you, too, Zack. But I always thought you just thought of me as a loser; that I annoyed you. I always wanted to tell you how your voice is my favourite sound, how I watch you when you're sleeping and think how you belong with me."

The night air suddenly seemed filled with a kind of magic, as though anything could happen, and both boys leaned in to kiss, their lips pressing together.

Cody opened his mouth slightly, allowing Zack's tongue to enter and caress his own and his head spun with the sensation, making him feel weak and dizzy

As they slowly drew apart, staring at each other, Zack couldn't stop smiling.

"I love you so much it hurts, Cody. It's magic every time we hold each other, every time we cuddle. When I'm with you I feel goosebumps. I never want to let go for fear of losing you, so I hold on a little bit tighter each day, refusing to let go. You'll never know the warmth I feel inside me when I'm with you. You're all I ever wanted."

**a/n Review review review...please? :).**


	9. Chapter 9

_Sorry if this chapter seems quite short and not that well put together, I have had a lot going on in my life lately and so this story has been on hiatus for about 9 months. I was suffering severe depression while writing the first eight chapters, and drew a lot of the creativity and emotion behind the story from that. I've been on medication for a while now and worried that I wouldn't be able to write this properly anymore. I'm trying, though. Let me know what you think :).  
_

Chapter Nine

1

Cody Martin awoke suddenly with a deep gasp, clutching the bed sheets on either side of his body, drenched in sweat but feeling cold.

It was early in the morning and the sun was just beginning to shine through the curtains, casting a golden light upon his surroundings.

Everything around him looked beautiful and peaceful and yet his heart was racing and he felt gripped by an intense fear, flashes from his recently departed nightmare still clear in his mind. As though it wasn't bad enough that he kept having flashbacks – re-experiencing his ordeal through the day – the night only brought him terrifying dreams that had him waking in a state of terror.

_I wish Zack were awake to make it okay_, he thought.

He considered waking his brother, but seeing Zack sleeping so peacefully next to him changed his mind. He wanted to him to rest and have some peace.

_I ask too much of him anyway. Make a burden of myself._

_God, he's beautiful_, Cody thought and wondered if it was narcissistic to find your own twin so flawless. He loved the way Zack's nostrils flared ever so slightly as he exhaled; and the cute, barely visible freckles peppering the bridge of his nose.

Zack was lying on his back, one arm by his side, the other folded under his pillow, and Cody rolled over onto his side to be closer to him. Smiling, he brushed his brothers' hair out of his face and kissed him on the cheek softly.

Although the contact was feather-light, Zack's eyes fluttered open – perhaps by twintuition.

"Morning, Codes," he said and reached his arm around his twins back, pulling Cody down onto him, so that they were lying together, Cody learning on his elbows above his twin. They looked at each other for a moment, remembering how they had kissed and then fallen asleep together the previous night, neither of them sure what to say.

And then Cody leaned down and kissed Zack – briefly but sweetly – before lying down fully, resting his head on his brothers shoulder.

"I just want to be as close to you as possible, Zack," he whispered. "Please hold me."

He sounded so fragile that Zack felt his heart melt a little and he wrapped his arms around Cody's back, holding his twin even tighter against him under the covers.

"I feel so safe here with you, Zack. I wish we could stay like this forever...I never want to let go of you."

"Hey, I'm here, Cody," he replied, stroking the hair on the back of his twins' head. "I'm here".

"You'll never leave me, will you? I need you."

"Never, Cody. You shouldn't be scared; I will always be there for you".

2

The next couple of weeks went by pretty uneventfully. Cody would stay home sick and every day Zack would pretend to leave for school and then sneak back into the suite after Carrie had left, and the two of them would spend the day together. Mostly playing video games or watching movies. They watched "The Wizard of Oz" half a dozen times in those two weeks because it was Cody's favourite movie and, although he wouldn't admit to liking a kiddies' film, Zack also liked it because he remembered when he and Cody would watch it together when they were little.

Everything seemed to be going alright for the unlucky twins for the first time in a long while, until the phone call came and then everything went very bad very quickly.

The next thing they Martin boys knew, they were sitting on the sofa (Cody scooted up as close to his brother as physically possible, one hand up the back of Zack's t-shirt, seeking comfort in the warmth of his brothers' flesh) listening to the angry voices of their parents informing them that Zack had been permanently expelled from their school for repeated, unauthorized absences.

"I'm so sorry, Mom," Zack said. "I just wanted to take care of Cody...he needs me." He wrapped an arm around Cody's waist and squeezed gently, as though confirming what he had just said.

Cody nodded slightly but didn't say anything. He had still not spoken a word to anyone but Zack. Plus he was feeling kind of numb, having just been told that Zack was going to have to move in with Kurt so he could go to another school.

Feeling cold and drained, Zack said goodbye to his mom, giving a quick, embarrassed comment about how he was going to miss her.

He walked over to Cody, who was still looking at the floor, and used a hand to lift his brothers' chin.

"Goodbye, Scarecrow. I'm going to miss you most of all," he said, using a finger to wipe away a single tear that was trickling down his twins cheek, trying to fight the urge to cry himself.

Wrapping his arms around his brother he gave him a quick kiss, their lips briefly brushing, and then looked into Cody's eyes and gave him a small smile.

And then Cody watched the only person who had ever made him feel safe, and the only boy he had ever loved, being taken out of the suite and out of his life.


End file.
